I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Two words: blizzard sex
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