At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
