Banned from zoo.
Again?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
