Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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