Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
