Are we in a gay sports bar?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize