Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
ttyl tear gas
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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