I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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