I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize