how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
