Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I wanna bring you to show and tell
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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