I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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