dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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