i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
