some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
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