hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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