Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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