i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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