You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
