found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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