No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
