Can i not drive my cunt home
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
