He kissed a someone with a penis
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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