I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Randomize