I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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