new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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