I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
