I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
