Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
