Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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