Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
