dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
