with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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