Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
