i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just had sex on a roof
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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