So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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