Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
