The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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