my sisters under your porch take her home
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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