thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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