ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
