It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
