i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
