Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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