Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
two words...techno handjob
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
