Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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