I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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