I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
