Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
