I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
