I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
