No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
