Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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