As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Are we still banned from the library?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
