Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
