called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize