I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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